We put that number in a very large font. The appendix was Legal's idea.
NTTWD means Neanderthal Time Travelers with Dynamite
Larger brains. Smaller problems.
- Modern human
- ~1,300 cc
- Neanderthal
- ~1,500 cc[3]
Approximate averages. Considerable room for improvement.
Neanderthal consultants. Artificial intelligence.
The best IT consultants possible[2].
We brought a larger braincase forward in time, added AI, and put it in a very good suit. The dynamite remains unused. Frankly, the procurement paperwork is enough of a deterrent.
Comfortable in cold environments,
including your data center and your CFO.
DEEP EXPERIENCE IN
Legacy systems.Hostile environments.Tool adoption.Organizational survival.NTTWD BY THE NUMBERS
The metrics
we chose to report.
A dashboard is only as good as the things
its owner is willing to put on it.
From prepared stone cores to software subscriptions. The renewal emails are new.
Our longest-running engagement. No change requests. Exemplary stakeholder alignment.
We delivered before kickoff. Your finance system has raised a concern.
A SURPRISINGLY WARM INTRODUCTION
Already on your
org chart.
Many people with European or Asian ancestry carry about 1–2% Neanderthal DNA[4].
Odds are you already have a little of us on staff. We're just asking you to make it official.
Think of it as internal recruitment. With a slightly longer onboarding timeline.
OUR CAPABILITIES
Modern problems.
Ancient capacity.
Some consultancies bring a slide deck.
We bring enough perspective to question it.
AI, with someone
actually thinking.
A model can produce a strategy in seconds. We ask whether it describes your business or a surprisingly confident hallucination. Then we ask who approved the budget for the second model to check the first.
A useful recommendation needs an owner, a reason, and a way to tell whether it worked. The slide that says “unlock transformation” gets returned to the cave.
Artificial intelligence. Natural skepticism.
Our intelligence modelWe understand
your monolith.
We have a professional affinity for large, immovable structures. We still recommend breaking yours into something maintainable. Unless it is holding up the roof. We check that first.
Not everything needs to be a microservice.
A very solid case studyLess firefighting.
We did that already.
Incidents, observability, and the runbook nobody can find. We fix the conditions that summon the incident bridge. Your company has enough people who can stare at a red dashboard.
We managed fire before your SRE team found it in prod[6].
Our continuity practiceTHE NEANDERTHAL ADVANTAGE
More room
for the problem.
Neanderthal brains were as large as modern humans' and often larger, in proportion to their more robust bodies[1].
Our founders read that, hired a marketing director, and added AI. The positioning workshop lasted eleven minutes. The invoice took considerably longer.
We had the larger braincase and still lost the market. That is why our strategy practice takes distribution very seriously.
Better hardware is a start. Knowing who needs it, what they can afford, and whether anybody will actually use it is the engagement. We learned that before your competitors learned the word “ecosystem.”
Our longer historical perspectiveLarger natural brainsThe original hardware advantage.
Artificial intelligenceA very enthusiastic research assistant.
The model drafts the deck. We bring the judgment. Nobody is permitted to call either one “the secret sauce.”
VENDOR DUE DILIGENCE
A completely
interested comparison.
Procurement asked for objectivity.
We counteroffered columns.
| Specification | Modern human | Neanderthal | NTTWD procurement interpretation |
|---|---|---|---|
| Average brain volume[3] | About 1,300 cc | About 1,500 cc | More generous headquarters. |
| Braincase profile[9] | More rounded | Long and low | Low-profile enterprise hardware. |
| Cold-weather build[9] | Less stocky proportions | Stocky, heat-conserving proportions | Less discussion about the thermostat. |
| Chin[9] | Prominent | Little protruding chin | Nothing to stick out in the steering committee. |
| Preferred status update | “Just circling back.” | Point at the thing that is broken. | Clearer action items. |
OUR DELIVERY MODEL
AI does the drafting.
We do the thinking.
The model is in the engagement.
It is not in charge of the engagement.
- 01
Understand the actual problem.
Before recommending a platform, we ask what is broken. This occasionally confuses the platform sales team.
- 02
Mousterian toolkit. Modern delivery.
We've been doing tool adoption for 300,000 years[5]. Your Slack rollout is not our hardest one. We do need you to stop naming channels after each reorganization.
- 03
Leave something people can use.
An understandable handover. A diagram that does not require its author. A runbook more specific than “ask Dave.” Dave deserves a holiday.
MEET THE PARTNERS
Exceptional minds.
Noticeable brow ridges.
Substantial cranial capacity.
An unusual interpretation of “legacy talent.”
APPLIED INTELLIGENCE
Dr. Ada Flint
PhD — Paleolithic Degree
Asks the model for its reasoning, then asks the client for theirs. Only one finds this uncomfortable.
ENTERPRISE ARCHITECTURE
Magnus Stone
Managing Partner
Our rock in a crisis. Also our rock in the proof-of-concept. Scope is important.
SYSTEMS & DELIVERY
Elena Ridge
Chief Delivery Officer
Survived two glacial maximums and a Jira migration. Only one left scars.
THINKING FROM THE CAVE
Perspectives.
With considerable perspective.
No gated white paper.
We remember when gates were a major innovation.
The cloud is not
a weather strategy.
Your migration needs a reason to exist. “The board asked about it” is a weather report, not a destination.
We will have finished
by last quarter.
Our time-travel practice can solve your Q3 deadline. It cannot persuade Finance to recognize revenue in Q2. Nobody can.
Review the delivery windowOur subject matter
won a Nobel.
Svante Pääbo's work on extinct-hominin genomes earned the 2022 medicine prize[8]. Alfred Nobel invented dynamite[8]. We consider this an unusually well-aligned brand ecosystem.
CLIENT PERSPECTIVE
A solid reference.
“They replaced our Kubernetes cluster with a single very large rock. Uptime has never been better”[2].
VP Engineering, name withheld for tribal reasons.
EVOLVE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
Your systems can be legacy.
Your consultants shouldn't be.
Actually, ours are. It is a surprisingly compelling differentiator.
Legal & Compliance has entered the chat.
[1] Brain size: The Smithsonian Human Origins Program supports brains as large as modern humans' and often larger, in proportion to more robust bodies. Marketing has agreed not to delete that last clause.
[2] The High Council of Homo Sapiens Consultants: We are required to acknowledge that a bigger occipital bun does not legally guarantee a painless SAP migration. We maintain it doesn't hurt. The Council also declined to certify the rock's Kubernetes uptime.
[3] The number that made it onto the home page: The Smithsonian's modern-human overview gives an approximate 1,300 cc average; the Australian Museum's Neanderthal overview gives 1,500 cc; (1,500 − 1,300) ÷ 1,300 ≈ 15.4%, rounded to ~15%. These are rounded species summaries, not matched samples; individual volumes overlap, body size matters, and volume is not an IQ score. One cc equals one cm³. Please stop asking whether we can invoice by either.
[4] Existing personnel: NIH MedlinePlus Genetics reports about 1–2% Neanderthal DNA in people with European or Asian ancestry. Amounts vary; ancestry is not current residence. HR may not use this paragraph as an aptitude test.
[5] Prior tooling experience: The Smithsonian describes Mousterian tools; the Natural History Museum dates Neanderthal Levallois prepared-core technology to around 300,000 years ago. The date refers to that technique, not an exact start date for the Mousterian tradition or our incorporation paperwork.
[6] Incident response: The Smithsonian documents Neanderthal fire control. No claim of being the first discoverer is included. The SRE team has requested that its incident number not be included either.
[7] Payment terms: NIST gives carbon-14 a half-life of about 5,730 years. This is a property of the isotope, not an extension granted by Accounts Receivable.
[8] Awards committee: The 2022 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine belongs to Svante Pääbo for discoveries about extinct-hominin genomes and human evolution. Alfred Nobel invented dynamite. Neither fact constitutes an endorsement of our consultancy. The pitch deck is being recalled.
[9] Hardware specifications: The Natural History Museum describes long, low skulls, prominent brow ridges, little protruding chin, and stocky physiques suited to cold environments. The communication preferences are not fossil measurements. Sources accessed October 18, 2026[1].